Saturday, October 9, 2010

Categorization of Friends

My best friend gave me the best advice: she said the friends you make will desert you. And she said that by just hanging out with them I am wasting my time and money. She is damn right.

And why shouldn't she be? She is after all my mom. My dear readers, I have spent a lot of time with people and every new person brings along a new experience. Now, you can hang out with a person for years and still can't call him a friend. He or she will be a acquaintance. This strata is occupied by mates from schools, colleges and universities. You cannot make friends in an educational institution.

Lets move on to the workplace. Here making enemies is easier than finding friends. The sole reason being that everyone loves to gossip and indulge in dirty politics. But if you are able to make a friend here, that generous soul will be there for you always. We wake up for jobs to earn money and survive in this rat race. So, don't go around gossiping in the office and find people whom you can trust. This is gonna help you a long way.

Ah. I don't want to write this but it is time we admit parents as our best friends. They created us so nobody else knows us in and out. And in the toughest circumstances, they are always willing to help. It sometimes becomes difficult when they adamantly don't give us youngsters more space. Well, they care for us so much that they don't want us to get into trouble and create a mess of ourselves.

Yawn. I don't know what made me write this shit but if you like it, do comment on it. Period.

God bless your reading prowess and give you more brains than me to ponder on the beauties of life.

Pay the Price to Communicate for Free

A day before yesterday I was made to write an essay on "How Technology affects our life". A complete paragraph was devoted to communication. Technology has indeed made communicating amongst ourselves a hell lot easier, convenient, cheap and entertaining.

I believe any noble soul reading this would have a social networking account on Facebook, Orkut, MySpace and Twitter. Well, I know you all have a account on Facebook because I post my blog links there. We consistently check our profiles on Facebook and update posts. Many a people comment on the thoughts you post and it makes you feel like you are being appreciated. This is the sole reason for the phenomenal success of Facebook. But the basic point is that you can make new friends and retain the old ones through social networking and it is all free of cost.

Now have you ever wondered why these sites are allowing you free access to communication. They can't charge you. Doing so would result in you shying away from these sites. I do want to talk to my friends but if I was told to pay a particular price to chat with her/him than I wouldn't do so. I would pick up my phone and punch in the numbers.

I conceptualize that we don't even have to pay for texts or calling over the phone. If the service providers can rope in the advertisers and we have listen to their shit then things may work out. The advertisers want coverage which can be given by the cell carriers and the consumers have to bear with the promotional offers. This way the advertisers will be paying our bills, and we can chat/text/update for FREE.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Words are Numbers, Numbers are words

Let’s write about an unexpected encounter with a complete stranger. The good thing is that stranger was a Jamaican. He was twice my age, and that made him pour down his wisdom to me. With time on my side, I listened patiently to that stranger. Please bear with my short-term memory; because, I will be referring to him as a stranger throughout the blog.

It all began when he asked the time. For this I have to take time to thank my mother for gifting me a watch before my departure. This gentleman asked for the time and we were a group of students waiting for the bus. We were standing just five steps away; just then, the stranger began humming a song. It was a beautiful song, and please pardon me for not recording that tune. I don’t have monies left to buy a good cell-phone. This man had an amazing voice and he was singing it so sweetly that I inched a little closer to catch all the words.

Every song comes to an end but I wish this shouldn’t. The stranger then looked towards me and said that this was not a choir song. He made this up himself; furthermore, he opened his mind so that I could digest the truth of the world. Pointing to the ground and consequently raising his finger towards the skies; he utters a simple word which in itself has all the complexities. He says, ‘Son, I have got some words to tell. You have got some numbers to work on.’

At first, I could not understand what he meant. He further adds up, “Son, my number is 51. Yours must be 24. I will tell you some words and it will take you 27 numbers to understand those words. Understanding is the key.” So now you must be scratching your brains as to what am I trying to tell. Let me explain.

All he meant was that he is 51 years of age and I am 24 years old. He has seen more life than me. He has got more words to share. All he demanded of me was to listen. But listening in itself is not more than enough. We all listen to what others have been trying to tell us. Unless and until, we don’t understand what we are listening, it makes no sense. In whatever endeavour we undertake, we have to grasp the basics. Instructors, Teachers, Bosses, Superiors and Parents will keep telling us to do this and don’t do that. This is completely wrong and out of this world. God created us to enjoy our time to the full and he will receive us with open arms whether we get the understanding or not. It is in every one of us to be passionate about understanding the nature.

Man has not created the world, yet he never ceases to impose his own will. Doing so, he is challenging the creator. After bidding his time, he has to answer back to his creator. He wont have any answers and will repent his decisions. So think carefully and understand.

Simply put, do something for the Mother Nature. She is the same in every part of the world and no nation can change that. America is the super-power of the world but it has the same soil as in Afghanistan. The technology created by us is to help us at the cost of nature. Treat every human you meet as your brethren. God doesn’t expect this from us. WELL, IT IS TIME WE SURPRISE HIM.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

 


                                                             Pirates of the Wireless

Hi there. It’s been a long time since the last post. Switching countries is also a cumbersome task. But fellows, I am back.
I have always desired to buy a laptop for a long time but finally I have got one that I am not so proud of. Why should I be? It is not a Mackintosh neither is it Vaio. Have you people heard of Acer? You have not. So i decided to put a big image so that you get fairly acquainted with this brand. 
Hrithik Roshan, I bet would be using a Mac. But I am not being sarcastic but he is the brand ambassador and is hence paid well to promote a bad product. If only somebody had forced me into buying Apple, things would have been different. Apple is gifting I-touch along with their laptops. So I would be busy touching the iTouch and fiddling with it to my satisfaction, but I wonder what are the ends to my satisfaction.
Now in the process of crying over my recent purchase I have wasted both mine as well as your precious time by diverting from the topic at hand. This device enables me to surf net as per my convenience. I am a man who likes to jump at every freebie thrown his way. So with my new found love for mobility I am running hitherto searching for the signals. Wish I was born a Tony Stark, the owner of Stark Enterprises, flying over the free airspace donning a suit carved out of iron. But wishes are wishes and are not as simple as cooking dishes. Even I am preparing myself for the big job at hand. 
I have a dream of opening my own restaurant serving snake food, but there aren't many takers. I would be cooking the food, injecting loads of venomous sauces in the food so that my customers are dead enough not to visit any other food chain. I am heartless, ain’t I. Only when it comes to cracking jokes.
Time to end the topic which anyways never made any sense. Come on, what made you read through the end of this. Or was I successful in making a fool out of you by keeping you somehow interested till now. The heading itself was a jest. There are still some writers left in this world who don’t make sense. They belong to a completely different genre.  Lets name their writings as idiotically nonsense as only this term could do them some justice. 
But I will seriously be starting a completely new topic. I will be maintaining a journal regarding my college life and it will have everything I have to encounter in my day to day life.
Till then Goodbye, holy souls. God Bless you all.  
Yours Comically, insanely Sapera.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

365 charittar Naar de............




Sach hai,Kuldeep 22, Sach hai.

b4 proceeding, kindly click d folowin


Kafi cher pehla raati mei shift laa ke paranthe vaale kol gaya. Othe Ik munda aaya te halki ji interaction baad, ohne dasiya ki oh Women te study kar rahiya hai. Phir 22 ne Kuldeep da eh song plain narration ch recite kita.

Mere naal da dost, osde palle gal nahi pai. Par mei fatafat catch kargaya ki eh taa Manak Ji da gaya geet hai. Phir saadi lambi discussion hoi is gaane piche. Te is gaane ch har ek line sach hai. Amazing. 

Apa kehre fast-track zamaane ch vasde ne. Kudi patai, Viah kara le, par kadi Zindagi de basics ch jaun di himmat nahi kiti. Mei taa ji Sangeet ch roochi rakhda. Kyunki Kaim sangeetkar te artist da iko maksad hunda hai: lokaan nu sochan da material provide karan da. 

WATEVA v take as discounted easy cheap shit, has a lot going behind it. Its just that we need to not only our eyes and ears open, We need to align our heart, mind and most important of all our soul into this world. And doing this, the question mark on our existence will fade into oblivion.


Communication

This is a going to bore you. Completely, And why not? I am writing on something which would have been so damn easy If only I would have talked with you. But God gave You and me 24 hours so that I cant talk to you but can use this repressing medium to communicate.

I can write I am watching this & that movie. If you haven't watched it, you may say so what? Or you may ask, is it good? Is it worth watching? And you will be dependent on information. Go for a movie only If your heart is into it. Don't rely on critics or ratings.or for that matter the shitty word of mouth you come across Facebook on fridays.

Now I have to pin-point the intrusion of Facebook in our everyday lives. We as humans have got supercomputing thinking abilities. At a single second, our vibrant mind is already processing numerous thoughts. And we are very dumb to express these thoughts on Facebook. Unknowingly, we are exposing our innermost secrets to all and taking consolation in the fact that we have expressed amongst our friends. THINK AGAIN. Do you think the people you keep on adding just to increase your network can be counted as friends? Can they understand your feelings or emotions?

And now I am coming to face-to-face communication which we do everyday. This is the easiest and the most basic method of communication. We are most comfortable when talking to parents or siblings or close friends cause they are in immediate and day-to-day contacts. But why do we hesitate to contact a stranger whom we have laid eyes on for the first time? Why do we hesitate to propose to the girls? Are we afraid that a being of such immense beauty will be lost if we propose carelessly?

I for my part have shed my inhibitions and can communicate easily across all strata of the society. And I at the moment am living a very care-free, tension-less life because whenever I communicate I am genuine, transparent, casual and most important of all, I AM MYSELF.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Unleashing an Animal amongst the Party People

I am going to write about my personal experience about a party which was a success and would have ended bang on until I went way out of my senses. And I am wondering why should I write about this. Because I believe nobody will learn anything from what I encountered. Because, the things I do I never hear any other people do it.


http://www-03.ibm.com/ibm/history/exhibits/logo/images/920905.jpg
My colleagues from my previous company invited me in good faith. Some of them called me before the party and cordially asked me to come over to add zing to the entertainment. I humbly accepted the invitation and put on a good show at my arrival. I did not drink much. I did not want to. I wanted to be in my senses and enjoy the Ambience. I danced joyfully to say only 1 or 2 new tracks the DJ rolled out.

http://bestof.longislandpress.com/li/wp-content/uploads/dj.jpgLemme focus one paragraph on the DJ. I dunno know from where my colleagues pull up a DJ who rolls out a 2 or 3 year filmi oldie and never plays new tracks. That is the reason I hate DJ's. Most of them are asses who don't have CD's of the latest songs. Since this party happened say 3 weeks ago, I was reasonable enough to ask him to play songs from Kites, Raajneeti and Raavan. Man, I would have loved dancing to the track 'Raanjha Raanjha' from Raavan, but this was not my night. Bad Luck. Have said enough on DJ who spoiled the night. I can go on and on but I would deviate from the topic at hand.

Since this is a formal party, the DJ dozes at 11:30 sharp. I go to the Bar searching drop by drop to validate my glass with 30 ml of whiskey. To avoid the greedy stares from my friends, I drink it neat in a single gulp. And then leave the rocks in the glass to be taken care of by them. Amazingly, people are still mongering on the dance floor paying devotional attention to the images potrayed on a projector. I find this way too monotonous, so I prefer to keep my eyes away. But still I am able to catch a glimpse of my Manager on the projector.

And all of a Sudden, I am all turbo charged up. For what, to crash the party and annihilate all the fun I was supposed to bring. I find a suitable bench to ascend to a balcony. There I stand, I am the only one standing alone, on the top. And in the next one briefest but my longest one minute's time, I deliver a few punches in the air and then I jump off the balcony. KHALAAS.

http://mediaswirl.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/jk-rowling.jpgMy head hits the AC ducts and I being a 5'7 hit the ducts. Shame on the venue, The Party, 34. For they in their wildest dreams did not envision that sometime in future a person named Manmeet Singh Nagra would jump from the balcony and carve a bloody dangerous cut on his forehead which if seen by J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter books would make her go gaga over me such that I would be adopted by her and be a shareholder of the enormous wealth she has collected in royalties. I wish she gets to see me sometime soon before this 'lightning scar' on my forehead fades away.

So now the blood flows from this cut as if Ganges is flowing from Lord Shiva's head to the earth. The girls present there are terrified. But some guys also start acting as girls. I take a marginal control of the situation by locking myself inside a washroom and treating this cut to water treatment. But still the blood likes to come out of the wound.

Now, the girls apply ice on my wound and feed me food and I have utmost regards for them. I was cornered and put aside from the inquisitive eyes of the others. An hour passes by since I got myself wonunded, but still the blood wont stop. My white shirt is all blood drenched. Till now, I played into the hands of my well wishers.


I am able to hear someone plot a plan to get hold of my car keys and then deliver me to a hospital and get this deep entrenched cut stitched by some late night doctor. BONKERS. STITCHES. DOCTORS. 

The moment these 3 words enter my search engine, I visualize the results they throw. A dangerously stitched demonic soul who if knocks on the door to his homely abode would be shunned by his parents just because a STITCH would be covering a 3 cm cut on his forehead. THIS WAS NOT HOW HIS PARENTS CREATED HIM. HE WAS SCARLESS AT THE TIME OF HIS CREATION. SUFFICE IT TO SAY, EXPERIENCE BRINGS WITH IT SCARS, PHYSICAL, LOTS OF OTHER TYPES OF SCARS, THESE ARE EMOTIONAL.

I ran from the party as if hell had broken loose, but with this I earned the wrath of my friends. There was not a single call from people I knew a little. And a brief phone call from people who cared for me. And of late, I have lost contact with almost all of the people at the party. THIS IS WHAT I GOT WHEN THE ANIMAL INSIDE OF ME CAME OUT AND MADE A LASTING IMPRESSION TO MY DEAR ONES.

Phew, this has been a long post and I have to bring this to an end. I am sincerely sorry to all those people who used to care about me. The animal you saw at that party was an egoistic maniac who brought disrepute to the organizers. But this is not the person MANMEET SINGH NAGRA, for whom I am writing this blog. I have replayed the whole incident again and again in my leisure time and have learned ways on controlling this behavior of mine such that this does not happen again.

I EXPECT TO BE TAKEN BACK AS I WAS BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I ASK FOR. I STRANGELY HAVE CONTROLLED MYSELF TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT I EXPECT NOTHING. I ASK FOR NOTHING.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Mirza-Sahiba vs Chamkila

Tere veeraan di aisi taisi, tu 1 vaar yaar nu keh sahi
Tere veeraan di aisi taisi, tu 1 vaar yaar nu keh sahi
Theekha kita paiya gandaasa, hun taa houga eko paasa
Theekha kita paiya gandaasa, hun taa houga eko paasa 
O saale bhootni de
O panga paan nu firde ne landar bhootni de, 
O panga paan nu firde ne landar bhootni de,


yaaron, eh lines koi genious hi likh sakda hai. Haanji, Chamkila ne Aaj Raj ke pee liye Daaru vala gaana mukaande eh kahiya c.

Now, I will recap on what happened regarding Mirza-Sahiba. Mirza was resting under the shade of the tree waiting for the love of his life, Sahiba. Sahiba knowing well that Mirza being an expert archer would kill all her brothers, so she breaks all his arrows. Mirza is rendered defenseless, the brothers kill him. End of one of the most classic love stories Punjab has ever known. Sahiba being a girl trusted her brothers, so she kills herself with a dagger.
                                                    
                                             Ki Khatiya ve meri Heer banke?

Chamkila was always a troubled genius, but he was a genius at his best. Through his music he has won many loyal hearts, including mine. But the majority of the Junta despises his music. But can you see the guts of this individual?
Chamkila was not born a Jat, but he had the makings of the complete Jat. I completely agree with these lines. Had I been the Mirza I would have killed all the brothers and my Sahiba wouldn't have to die.

The reason I have written this blog is that even in this age, I see the girls, they still are dumb. So if you have girlfriends who have real brothers be on your guards. Open your eyes, Pull up your socks and if the brothers point their finger at you, just sing the above. You soul-mates will be at peace, Chamkila will be content in Heaven.
And I would be more than happy realizing that this blog was not posted in vain.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Raavan: Music has me head over heels

Well, I have just begun writing and I have started on a bad note. I mistimed my previous blog on Raavan. I have studied Statistics and I should not be biased while reviewing or analyzing something. But Beera as a character has my mind boggled all over.

Look now, I my reviewing both music and the movie together at the same time. And I am not gonna reveal anything from the story. So you can keep the suspense still in your pockets. BEERA BEERA BEERA

Beera ke das maathe, 100 naam, chede joh, Dhama Dham Dham Dham. Sabaas, Sabaas,, itna bhayaankar gaana.. Par A.R. Rahman. Boss, kya keh sakte hai aapka?? Slumdog ke Jai Ho ke baad yeh gaana itna pasand aya ki aisa laga ki jaadu sa kar diya aapne. Beera aisa gaana hai ki agar U have shonk of adivaasis, U will immediately get a tribal feel when you have listened to the 2nd stanza of this song. I can spend hours listening to this because I unwilling can relate to this song.

Coming to BEHENE DE, BEHENE DE; sachi mujhe is gaane mei behene do. Itni pyaari lyrics hai is gaane ki. Aur Jab Aishwarya slo-mo mei niche girti dikhai gayi hai woh kuch bhi nahi hai. Mast toh Abhishek lagta hai jab slide karta jaata hai samundar mei. 
Behne de ghanghor ghata behne de paani ki tarah, Saagar mein jaa girna hai behne de nadiyaa ki tarah. Isme koi shak ki baat nahi hai, Yeh lyrics Gulzaar Sahb ke alawa aur koi likh hi nahi sakta.

Thok De Killi, ki door nahi hai Chalega Dilli..// Is gaane mei jab shenahi bajti hai, maza aa jata hai. Aur Abhishek ka Tribal Dance. In this movie, if you observe Abhishek's histrionics closely You will agree with what Ram Gopal Verma had to say to Big B. Sir, aapka ladka aapse zyaada acha actor hai. Khatarnaak shehnai bajti hai is gaane mei. Khatarnaak. Is song ki choreography bilkul hatke hai.
I am very much in love with the ruthlessness of this song. The way it has been sung, makes a strong impact.


RanJha RanJha kardi..... Wont write much about this song. Mindblowing start to this song but it lacks depth and adding Hindi lyrics to this song makes this borish. What I cannot understand is this that majority of the people listen to this song but the full song is not there in the picture.
But have you listened to the Tamil version of this song. Well here is the link. I could not understand a thing but I personally I like the Tamil version more than the Hindi one. Below is the link. Copy and paste it in your address bar and enter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2BpXC8CISA

Kata Kata re bachara bakra, mana mana le khair mana le, aakhri raat kunwara. Classic. What more can you expect from such a terrific start that you listen to Kanya ko bulao. And next comes, "Aye hawa pe chalti hai yeh chhori, paron se bhi halki hai re; Dahi se bhi khatti hai suna hai, dahi bhi woh kal ki hai re."
Watching the video of this song, I am immediately reminded of the viah di tiyaari in my native Punjab. And I get very sad by the thought that till this moment I thought we Punjabis are the desiest breed in our country. But India being a land of diversity throws up surprises every now and then. Awsome work, Rahman. Keep it up. And I know You will. You always have a trick in hand.

Khilli Re, I cannot listen to this song. Its girlish. Its romantic. It means nothing to me. But Aishwarya's Bharatnatyam, she can't act but she can dance, dance very well. This song shouldnt have been there in the movie. Did the Director think that fans of Aishwarya would be pleased. Well, does Aishwarya has any fans left. After her marriage to Abhishek, I feel most of her fans were poached by Katrina and Kareena.

And the covers of this album,, FANTABULOUS. I dont like collecting music in the physical form, I mean CDs. But I know a lot of people do buy CDs. Just for the covers. So what are you waiting for. Either download this or buy it. You won't repent it and you will listen, enjoy, or I would like to say refer to it for ages.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Dr. House


This is what Dr. House looks like. Funny name, ain't it? But, this doctor who is staring at you is not just staring, he is scrutinizing you. He is searching you in & out and is checking each and every motion, your pulse, your breathing, all this; by just looking at you.

Gregory House, M.D., is a protagonist antihero of the American  medical drama  House. Portrayed by Hugh Laurie, the character is a medical genius, a diagnostician with specializations in infectious diseases and nephrology. He works as the Chief of Diagnostic Medicine at the fictional Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, and there heads a team of diagnosticians.

The character is played by Hugh Laurie who has earned a lot of awards playing this role. Well he also got voted as the second sexiest Dr. followed by George Clooney's portrayal of Doug Ross in the popular medical drama series ER. Now that is something, Clooney cant be beaten in the department of looks.

The best thing I like about House is that he never wears a coat to his office and is dressed in the most casual manner and is seen mostly in sneakers. Way to go Doctor. He doesn't have any sympathy towards his team and is devoid of emotions. This in turn is a blessing for him. He is able to successfully diagnose the patient with the right treatment. House has years of experience and has tremendous faith in his abilities as a medical practitioner.

I wont write much because I havent managed to finsh the first season itself but would recommend this series to all of you. First of all, this is not at all boring. The animations depicting the medical illness are very easy and interesting to understand. But maybe I also have a selfish reason to let you search for the complete seasons so that I can borrow them.

On a Dr. Housey serious note, the team may seem monotonous, but since a new episode brings a new disease so I urge you to alteast give it a watch. The reason being someday or the other we will be at the mercy of the Doctors and We will have to put our ultimate trust in them to save our puny little lives.

You can learn a lot from Raavan


I had waited so long for this movie. Even the ongoing World Cup could not cheer me up. The music of this movie was ringing in my ears and I could not wait for 18th June to come so that I could finally get to see the darest character in Bollywood.

Raavan, Raavan, Raavan. What does this name strike in our minds? Just this that this name stands for Evil, this name stands for Knowledge, this name stands for lust, this name strikes terror in our hearts. This movie has picked up the age-old debate of good overpowering the Bad. By good, I mean RAM. Yet this movie is a modern day adaptation of Ramayana and since we are living in the Kalyug, Mani Ratnam, the director of this movie has presented this debate in the most lively manner. Hats Off to you, Mani Ratnam for envisioning this movie.

Ever since Bollywood got running, We are watching movies which have the following plot:
Once upon a time there is a Zero who dreams of becoming a Hero. After becoming a Hero, he wants a girl by his side. So he starts to fondle a good-looking girl in his college. Ladki itne nakhre dikhaati hai ki Ladka jab haar maane vala hota hai ki ekdum se Director Saab forces the ladki to falls in love with the Hero. Khatam Kahani. The End. Bingo. Sheer Bakwaas. Pukish.

But Raavan, this movie is meant for an intelligent audience. Because a lot of topics have been handpicked and any amateur Director would have made a Khichdi out of them, but Mani Ratnam is no Amateur. This veteran has beautifully timed all the sequences and I was left introspecting. Ask my Mom and Brother, I couldn't get up from my seat when the credits rolled out.
Lets begin with Police, We surely are gonna move on to Outlaws. Police has a moral duty to protect the nation. But in real they are pussies in the eyes of the politicians who will continue to fiddle with police. Now, Vikram is an SP who cannot withstand the mighty influence of this outlaw named Beera. So he wants to put an end to Beera.

Beera is attending his sister's marriage and in comes this Police-walla. And he manages to get a shot at Beera but Beera escapes. The marriage is ruined. Beera's sister is in police custody and they bloody rape her taking turns. This we know is true given our Indian Police's reputation. So now the question is answered as to why Ragani is abducted by Beera in the first place itself.

And the true love between Beera and Ragini has been portrayed in a mildly quiet manner. Beera gives Vikram, the cop; another chance to live because he cannot cause hurt to Ragini. And girls cannot gauge what men are thinking so Ragini goes back to Beera when she is insulted by Vikram. Beera apne sache pyaar ka izhaar karta hi hai ki SP saab apne Commandos lekar aate hai Beera ko shoot karne ka order dete hai aur kahaani khatam.

But the best learning from this movie is the fight between Elite and Poor, between Educated and Non-Educated. What you must take back home is that there is nothing good nor bad. There is a marginal difference between the two and we have a wrong perception marred by our own inner conflicts and we are comfortable in what the majority thinks best for us. But sit back and search for your true self and hold back all your fears.

Rocky Balboa says in Rocky 5 that fear is the best friend you have. Beera says that if You don't fear death, even death can't kill you.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My desi take on this World Cup


The WORLD CUP is about to kick-off tomorrow, 32 teams are participating and fighting it out amongst themselves for a month. Teams will be eliminated in the pursuit of reaching the finals until a bunch of 11 monkeys finally get hold of this golden ball.
Now I am too 'desi' and I would say WHY PUT EFFORT WHEN ALL YOU ARE WINNING IS A BALL?
  • Is it because this is a Gold Ball?
  • People will appreciate when We get hold of this ball.
  • Will definitely get clicked by Photographers.
  • The whole world will watch in awe when this ball is in our hands.
  • Some sections of our nations population is going to worship us, We can call ourselves God.. the next time We will play with a previous World Cup winner the match would be called 'Clash of the Titans' and would be a much more thrilling watch than the movie of the same name.
Forget all of the above and lets just stick to this that whenever a World Cup is Won, the winning team will get $30 million. If this money is roughly divided amongst 11 players then each would get 3 million. This is the reason England does not reach to the finals. The English players have way more than 20 millions GBP contracts with their clubs so there is a no such enthusiasm to strive hard for this golden cup.
Brazil is my favorite to win this World Cup.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ayurvedic Skin Specialist

Today I willing encountered an ayurvedic Doc to cure myself of skin problems. He said to talk about my skin problem would cost 30 bucks. Fine. I am willing to spend money to hear an expert opinion.

I have to stop eating rajmah, chawal, Gobi, aloo, chane ki dal, white chane, & many othr vegetables. Is this possible?? Hell NO. Rajmah-Chawal is a favorite and I will never stop eating gobi-aloo. Doc U need to ALOO-CHAAT.

Now comes a lightning bolt. Out of the blues I am told that stop consuming Non-Veg altogether. Go Vaishno.. Vaishno means a pure vegetaranian. Doesn’t bother to ask whether I drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. Simply tells a tale of a recent kidnapping. Now I don’t go through the childish mishappenings in the city beautiful. I don’t bother to read Chandigarh Times. Why should I? When I can go out and see for myself what is happening in the city do I need the newspapers to tell me the blatant lies.

At this stage my Doc becomes a story-teller. Recites a story about 4 friends. Now 3 friends plan to make money at the expense of the fourth one. They kind of roam around in Panchkula and call this miserable guy’s parents and demand a ransom of 90 lacs. The parents are told, in fact threatened not to inform the police. This is typically filmi style but do the Kidnappers ever learn. The parents are worried and not in the filmi way, they are worried REAL-TIME.

They call the police because their son is suffering a Kidnapping. I think that they call police and make a deal that if their son is rescued then we can give you 2 or 3 lacs. Kinda Cheap, but Police wants money under the table so they now become MEN in ACTION. Now these gang of friends were in Panchkula, thinking that Parents would stupidly send in the monies. But the money never comes, the dreams are shattered, the Police catch them in No Time, it takes just 2 hours to get hold of these bunch of foolishly stupid kiddos. The kids were born to influential parents so they are sent off with a mild warning. I wished they would have been issued a stern backlash for their misconduct & for this Doc to buy more time to justify for my 30 bucks. Man, I wanted to just get out of the room and get some air.

Now, the Doc asks me what the moral of the story is. Thank God, he is frank enough to admit that this was after all a story. In my mind I am contemplating did he demand 30 bucks just to recite a story and have the audacity to listen to the moral I comprehended. Man, I had to blurt out something and this is what I did, "Doc, I make friends and I hang-out with my friends, but in the city itself. So from Your so called story I have learned a lesson that if you want to escape from the prying eyes of the Police, never roam the streets of Panchkula with your friends. Go alone, Go solo, but most important of all, Carry Yourself, Be a Man.

Doc cannot digest this. He starts making strange faces. Now by the looks on his face I get a feeling that either he is going to return me my hard earned 30 bucks or he is going to leave the room. I wish that he could opt for the latter. But he outsmarts me by doing none. I realize this is the toughest Doc I have ever come across in my life. I am surprised by the next move which is probably the least calculated one. He just changes the topic. I feel a little proud that I have scored an ace against such a mighty opponent.

Now the Doc delivers a bombshell. I think he goes in a kamikaze pilot mode and his only purpose is to vacate the premises of my presence because I am a little marginally more straightforward compared to his other patients. Or maybe it is the other way around. I am the toughest bad-ass client he has ever come across. He matter-of-fact says that if I am serious about the treatment then be ready to shell out 100 bucks for a minimum period of six months.

OK, OK, Doc could U just repeat WTF u said?????

Again he repeats his statement. Now I wish I could say BONKERS but the Doc saves me from my despair. He saves me. I don’t know why he had to say this but he says that you may not be cured of the disease you are suffering from after paying this gigantic amount of money which comes to 18,000 bucks for 6 months duration.

I am Numb, I have been rendered speechless, and there is a moment of silence. A long moment of 5 minutes and the Doc is laughing mildly that finally he has emerged victorious. I cannot stand him anymore. I say I need a lot of time to think and I DONT WANNA SEE YOUR FACE EVER AGAIN. With this I reach for the portal to exit the room and slam it BANG on the stupidly cunning doctor.

In a nutshell, AYURVEDA is unreliable. Think twice before U ever wants to go for it. Otherwise I have written all this in vain.